Sometimes I wake up to the sweet silence of an quiet house and it takes me a second to remember falling back asleep is not an option. I have a very important person who needs me. And then I hear it, the faint sounds of my little babbler. I strain to make out coherent words but to no avail. My son does not speak English yet. He's quite fluent in baby babble though.
My day goes on, and each time I chose to put someone else's needs above and before my own, I take a quick second second to smile. If you asked me a few years ago if I'd go days without a shower? Pick sanitizing toys over plucking my eyebrows, or cook meals based on someone's currents favorites I'd tell you, you were nuts and no way. But here I am doing it. And quite honestly I truly do enjoy taking care of my little guy.
I've been doing some heavy thinking lately. About lots of stuff but mostly about my kids, here and future ones. And the qualities I want to instill in them and those that I want them to have no part of. Now, I know from personal ( ah hem me) experience you can only teach your kids and not force them to adapt particular traits. However, I believe it's my responsibility as a parent to not only guide my child to be a successful citizen of the world but to be a great a friend and partner.
That being said, I realized that by doing everything for your child, their laundry, paying bills, cleaning up their messes and doing this their whole lives creates an adult who will expect this from others. They will not appreciate the hard work it takes, and the sacrifices one must make. In turn your create an adult who is not a good partner. This will then lead to failed relationships and painful breakups. I don't know about you but I don't want to set my children up for failure. I want my children to grow into self sufficient adults who have confidence and knowledge about life and acceptance of others.
These are not easily instilled values in your children. I believe I "hated" my mom many days because she made me do the laundry, and yelled at me when I "forgot." I got mad that my parents made me pay my own cell phone bill in high school. And how dare they not clean up after me! I was just a child after all...but no, I was not. I was a teenager who was growing up into an adult, FAST.
Yes my son, and my little growing bean are far from being able to have chores.But this is something I have already started thinking about. And I have already started to hold my son accountable to certain things. We do not take out more toys until we put the ones we were playing with away. We do not throw our food when we are done. We do not scream when we want something. I am setting boundaries now so they do not come as a huge shock to him later in life.
My son will know and be expected to pick up after himself, and to be a helpful and thoughtful member of our family. Just as my daughter (or another son??) will also be responsible for their messes, and actions. As their mother I am here to teach them how to be responsible and more importantly considerate. My children will be expected to say
"please and thank you" they will brought up returning phone calls/texts/cards. They will write thank you notes. I will go out of my way to teach them the importance of being a great friend. I will teach them the importance of manners. The importance of showing respect and dignity even when you do not agree with anothers thoughts or actions.
I could go on, but I wont. These are just my thoughts this hot Florida afternoon :)
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| A little something to smile about <3 |
xoxo
Leah
